The Door
How long have I journeyed to come this far?
Nine months? A thousand years? Longer?
There is no way of knowing
for time is only created by my moving through it.
Behind me there is no time;
only a past with no past
lying silent, abandoned
reaching back with questing fingertips
to the first spark of creation.
And the light which I see ahead – is that the future?
But how could the future be so bright, so glorious?
I feel afraid for what might come
for such glory only comes with sorrow
and the praise of angels
is the same song as their lament
and my last yesterday will be the world's first tomorrow.
I move onwards in spite of myself
for I am the irresistible force
which has been gathering itself through the ages
and my first breath shall be my last
and my sorrow shall be my glory
and my pain shall be the soft sigh of angels’ wings
rustling with quiet redemption
as the world tells my story.
I love this intriguing poem. A poem that speaks to my heart and my heart whispers the current that runs below these beautiful words. Yet the poem also touches many other levels like a mosaic that reveals more than one dimension. I'm sure other readers will glean many gems from the poem. I can only speak of what this poem means to me. The Door is an apt title for it is the door of our heart, our consciousness. The photo shows a light that seems to come from the deeper recesses of the chambers. As one enters through the door the light becomes brighter. This is the divine light that is present within all beings and in all things. It is the light of consciousness. It is the light of God. It is who we truly are. The ever present door seems invisible and absent. Although it is open It appears closed by layers and layers of dreams that the Light dreams and in the dreaming becomes lost in its own creations. It is closed by the thousands of stickers that our mind places on the door saying "not here, look elsewhere." It is also buried under our pain and suffering that seems almost synonymous with life. What the Door reveals is that which closes the Door is also that which opens it.
ReplyDelete"I feel afraid for what might come
for such glory only comes with sorrow
and the praise of angels
is the same song as their lament
and my last yesterday will be the world's first tomorrow."
These words speak of the bittersweet quality of our world. The search for happiness, peace, success or love seems to end in disappointment. And when we do attain what we wish for it doesn't last very long. It changes, it decays, it dissolves. When we embrace our suffering and surrender to it the door begins to open. Surrendering to what we do not wish for doesn't mean fooling ourselves that "bad" becomes "good." It means giving up the very idea of our identity, of who we think we are. For who we think we are isn't really who we are. Once this idea of "I" which we have been holding onto so tightly is relinquished the Door opens to reveal a more profound truth of Self. The pain that closed the Door is the key which also opens it. It requires courage to fully face the pain, to embrace it, accept it, and to surrender to it.
The first part of the poem talks of time.
"There is no way of knowing
for time is only created by my moving through it.
Behind me there is no time;
only a past with no past
lying silent, abandoned
reaching back with questing fingertips
to the first spark of creation.
There is an illusory quality to time. Time is part of our world of form and our world of form is only relatively real, not absolutely real. It is a reflection of our consciousness. The mention of 9 months is interesting and points to a period of gestation. Everything that leads up to the opening of the Door in a way is the Light birthing Itself into self awareness.
Since the poem was placed on the Blog before Christmas there is an allusion to the time leading up to the Crucifixion of the Jesus. The poem could also be relevant to the suffering that Jesus experienced in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus came to terms with his destiny, and surrendered to the intense suffering that was to happen. After his crucifixion, the sequence of events were being in the tomb for 3 days and then his Resurrection. And a stone door that closed his tomb was opened. In the same way by surrendering to our own cross we die to our old self. Toallow our self to die can be a terrifying prospect. If we completely surrender and give up what we think is our identity what are we then left with? We do not know until we do it. Many prefer to hold on to their old self and continue to suffer due to this fear. It requires an initial courage to take a leap into the unknown. Once we make the leap and "die," there is a birth of something much more real and profound.
Joseph, your comment on The Door is a profound essay in itself! I also am so grateful to you for your input and insights. Although I realise that it might be unintentional on your part, your stance here is wholly Gnostic and Hermetic, the beliefs which are so dear to my own heart - but this just demonstrates how close Gnosticism actually is to the universal truths which other beliefs also touch.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much.