The Anointing

Mary Magdalene has become known to us as the woman who anointed the feet of Jesus. Her action in doing this is traditionally interpreted as a gesture of humility and devotion, but if we look beyond the doctrine, then other more meaningful possibilities open themselves to us. 

The Magdalene was a woman who deeply loved. She loved a man who did not just give love, but who was Love: who inspired her on her way to consciousness, to complete incarnation, and so to become his spiritual equal. She loved Jesus with all her heart and soul, and therefore placed something in his being which made him also complete, so that in him also the male and female could connect in their essence and the Kingdom would be revealed to them both.

And then the great turning point came in both their lives: the baptism in the River Jordan, for it was then that Jesus became Christ: the Anointed One. He felt the forces in him extend themselves beyond his own individuality, and he knew that another life awaited him: a life in which he had to leave the personal self behind to be outshone by something unnameable. With the act of baptism the earthly Jesus of Nazareth was united with the pre-existent Christ: the Logos, or Word, and from that moment Jesus the Christ became the vessel of universal consciousness.

Jesus and Mary remained husband and wife, but no longer in the sense of having any conventional partnership. As difficult as it must have been for the Magdalene, she knew that this was how things were meant to be. Her silent strength grew, for not only did she accept all that was, and was to come: she actively stood by – and beside – her husband. In this earthly life she was the only one who understood in depth what he was truly saying, what the innermost meaning of his words were. She knew it, she felt it, it ran through her with force and warmth.

But what equanimity was demanded of her! She sensed Jesus’ coming death, and her heart was filled with grief. How her soul must have been torn apart, how the ground beneath her must have trembled, when she stood in witness to the horrific death of her beloved. But again she stood up to meet him once more. "Hold me not", he spoke to her. And she understood. There was no need to hold him physically, for she knew that he and she were One.

Transformation is everything, and great suffering offers great transformation. Jesus into Christ. And Mary now into an aspect of Wisdom - Sophia. People came to listen to her, but they did not understand what she was telling them. With sorrow she saw the ways in which the words of her beloved were turned into stone – how the deeply-meaningful teachings of the inner mysteries became distorted by all-too literal interpretations, how groups came into being, and how schisms occurred as each group disagreed about what was meant, and what it was correct to believe. Mary/Sophia, the witness to history, saw how a church was formed.

Mary Magdalene in our time shines forth as a symbol of the lost feminine aspect in a male-dominated society – a society to which the church also belongs. But her gentle force has not been lost, for in the cosmos nothing dies, it is only transformed. The Christ-consciousness, the Buddha-nature, and the Krishna-consciousness are present in each and every one of us, and yearn for discovery. And so also the force of the Magdalene is still tangibly present in our own time, if we allow ourselves to be open to it.

And those ‘more meaningful possibilities’ of Mary’s anointing? This most special woman already knew all that was to come. Her act of anointing was notably not done with water, but with precious oil. Even then, in that house in Bethany, she had begun to prepare the body of her beloved for earthly burial, and the one who anoints is as blessed as the one who is anointed. 

   

The Journey of Ambergris

It has a strange and rather unglamorous beginning in, of all places, the digestive tract of a sperm whale. When the whale expels this strange by-product of its oceanic menu, it rises to the surface, there to float upon the waves until, perhaps after many years of drifting, it eventually is washed up on some distant shore. But in these years of drifting, a miraculous transformation takes place. From a waxy and rather smelly lump, it undergoes a mysterious change of its own. It becomes one of the sweetest of scents, formerly prized in the making of the costliest perfumes. We know it as ambergris.

In the Near East, ambergris is burnt as an incense. But in some countries such as the United States, even the possession of ambergris is considered to be an unlawful offense due to the protection of the species from which it comes. Two years ago here in the Netherlands, a sperm whale was found stranded on the beach of the island of Texel. Over eighty kilograms worth hundreds of thousands of dollars were found in the animal.

This marvellous substance was even thought to have medicinal value, as a cure for a variety of ailments from headaches to epilepsy. In days gone by Dutch gentlemen were said to sprinkle some on their breakfast eggs, and so enabling the substance to make the journey from the whale’s to the human’s digestive system via the oceans of the world! 

I myself am lucky enough to have a few small grams of this precious substance, which I keep in a small covered pot. When I remove the lid, the released scent is astonishing, like the costliest perfume – which indeed it actually is! I rather wish that this post had a button that you, my reader, could click on which would allow you to share the experience with me. Not possible, I realise (but maybe Google are working on it, who knows?).

In the East the lotus is used as a symbolic way of illustrating the soul’s progress from darkness to light: the transforming progression of the lotus from the muddy river’s bed to emerge into the light as a beautiful bloom. Nature holds many such valuable lessons if we are open to them. Perhaps the journey of ambergris is also one such lesson. Adrift on the waves, a mysterious alchemy is worked upon the ambergris to transform it into the rarest of sweet perfumes.  The stir of the great ocean is all that is apparently needed to accomplish this magic, and like many a true transformation, it asks no effort, only time.

Painting: Scent of Ambergris, by John Singer Sargent

The Loom of the World

Seeing patterns in things is a reassuring thing. It comforts us to feel that something, some experience, has an underlying purpose, even if that purpose is not clear to us at the time. We trust that it is so. All across the world, in different places and in different cultures, women are weaving. Women have been doing so for thousands of years, creating cloth from the wool of their herds or from other plants and animals to make into clothing, or baskets, or blankets. They might be spinning on a simple hand-held spindle while they watch over the same herds which provide what they spin, or they might be sitting outside using a portable back-strap loom, or using a large frame loom in their house. I myself have done my own share of weaving at the loom.

All of these women, wherever they live or have lived, are creating different things, using different patterns, distinctive to their times and cultures. But perhaps there is a sense in which they are actually creating the same thing. The activity is the same, however it is produced. What connects these women is that they are all weavers. They are all familiar with the warp and weft of the loom – the vertical and horizontal threads which create the weaving.

We readily recognise this warp and weft which creates the weave of our own life’s experiences:  pain and pleasure, loathing and delight, sorrow and rejoicing, regret and anticipation. Darkness and light are also part of this pattern, and the pattern tells us that the weaving would not be possible, would not even exist, without both of these experiences. But what is the weaving?

Perhaps a network, all-unseen, connects all women who weave, and who have ever woven. The common activity is in itself enough for a connection to be made. Perhaps through this connection one vast weaving is being created, a weaving whose mysterious form we might glimpse through the creative activity of all these individual women. And as long as there are women, the warp holds. As long as the warp holds, we can weave our world into wellness. We are all weavers, weaving at the loom of the world. From our sorrow and our love, from pain and forgiving, from all the darkness and the light, the weaving of love takes form.       

Copper Cascade by Donna Sakamoto Crispin

The Light of Pure Consciousness

The Light of Pure Consciousness 

                                                                 

Dive deep into the ocean of being

Enter the temple of Stillness

Through the silent gateway

Between thoughts

Examine the ‘I’ and its entourage:

Sensory perceptions, feelings, 

thoughts, concepts, beliefs

Hold them, one by one

In the mirror of the inner eye

And ask

“Where do you come from?

Where do you go?

Are you who ‘I’ am?

And if you choose to vanish

Do ‘I’ remain?”

Dissolve all things

Completely and utterly

Into nothingness

Then ask

“Who am I?”

All will fall away

Only the One shall stay

It is

Awareness

Primordial

Before thought

Before form

Before time itself

Luminous, self-sufficient and untouched

The phenomenal world arises from nothingness

And returns to nothingness

Each moment

In the light of Pure Consciousness

by Joseph Rundle

Closer Than Our Breath

Closer Than Our Breath

Are we seekers looking for love, happiness, peace or truth?

Know that all that we seek already exists

Here, in our hearts of hearts.

Let the seeking stop – let us be still,

Let us enter the realm of Silence and realize

True fulfillment and perfect oneness.

By seeking we are only affirming lack

And creating a wall thwarting vision.

Let's stop the search

Let’s call it off and let it go,

And instead, look with the fresh eyes of a new born,

To see without layers of thought, as clear as sunlight,

To see with an open heart as vast as the summer sky,

So we may know that the truth of birth and death

Is closer than our breath

We have sculpted what we wish for into objects,

Things to attain, realize, grasp, and make our own.

In doing so our search is no longer true, our compass awry,

Blind to the truth of who we are.

And who we are is pure awareness itself,

The very source of peace, love, bliss and truth.

We do not need to become, evolve or transform into something else,

But simply to be in our truest essence,

To uncover what is already here,

And if we believe otherwise let us then awaken

From our fitful dreams.

Formless, pure awareness cannot be defined,

Whatever definition or label one may place upon it can never be true.

It cannot be touched

By anything manifested in form, thought or feeling.

It is infinitely pure, infinitely free,

Unbound by space and time,

Self-knowing, self-illuminating, bliss itself.

Without it nothing can be created  
It is the Source, 
The Mother of All.

Yet it is not its creation, but creation is within it

For all exists within pure awareness,

Arising and dissolving within her bosom.

Follow its thread and we’ll discover that

It Is closer than our breath.

Picture by Noell Oszvald

The Transforming Journey

The Journey of Inner Transformation from Suffering to Freedom

Suffering is a universal human condition. We do our very best to avoid it but very few of us can. Buddha talked at length about suffering. He called it "dukkha" which includes the entire spectrum from dissatisfaction and discomfort to intense pain and suffering. He discovered a way to end suffering and find lasting peace - a peace he calls Nirvana. Many sages and spiritual masters have touched upon this human condition. Although suffering is an unwelcome condition it can develop in us a greater depth of soul and gives us the capacity for deeper compassion. Suffering acts as a crucible in which we undergo inner transformation, a transformation that shatters the very core of who we think we are and opens the doors to deeper perception and realization of what may be called our true Self within.

We do not need to intentionally seek to suffer to experience transformation.  The way to transformation may be practiced without the presence of suffering. Suffering can lead to inner transformation. This transformation can happen right in the midst of suffering. Such an experience is often revelatory and some call such experiences "awakenings." These changes can lead to further awakenings and life itself becomes a journey of transformation. It is a spiritual journey, as each awakening shatters one's previous concept of self and allows discovery of deeper levels of being. It is a journey that leads us to that place within which reveals our true nature or true Self, that place in which we are at the matrix of creation, and the fountainhead of peace, love, joy and freedom, and these states are emanations of the true Self and not separate emotions. 

Suffering is invariably caused by the "desire gap." This is the gap between what we want (desire) and what is. What we want can be anything - an event, a person, a set of specific circumstances, material things, a physical condition, etc., but they are all personal mental and emotional projections. Of course, what "is" happens to be the undeniable "reality" in front of us that we find hard to accept. This is the seed of suffering - the gap that exists between what is and what we want. 

When one has reached a point of being utterly exhausted from suffering, and arrives at juncture where there appears to be no exit point, no escape route, and the mind offers no solution, it is in this state of existential crisis that a transformative opportunity arises. It does involve the act of stopping the mental and emotional bicycle that we have been on to look squarely into the face of suffering. 

For one moment we must stop, completely stop, and step back from the emotions and thoughts.  Stopping leads to recognition, to simply place full attention on one's feelings and thoughts. Recognition is awareness, and awareness requires stopping even for a brief moment. One's suffering must be confronted squarely. Rather than turning away from it, look into its face with courage by quietly placing attention on it. In order to transcend it one must accept it and embrace it.

Our suffering may consist not only of the pain itself but also the desire for the suffering to cease. We may be overwhelmed by both pain and desire.  It may feel impossible to stop. We feel overwhelmed because we are identifying intimately with our thoughts and emotions. However, know that we are deeper than any thought we could think of.  We are deeper than any emotion we may feel, whether that emotion is sublime or ugly. Stopping does not mean rejection or repression of our thoughts and emotions. Rather it means letting them be and observing them as a witness. Awareness requires us to focus our full attention on what is happening inside us. By doing so we open a small gateway to our heart of hearts, and there is the softest whisper that may be heard inviting us to enter.

The road of suffering divides into two paths, and both paths lead to transformation. It is up to the individual which path to take. It is a personal choice. The first path is that of acceptance. The second path is that of release. Both involve an element of surrender in slightly different ways. However, the end is the same.

The path of acceptance requires resolve. The emotions of suffering are wholly accepted and embraced. Accept and embrace the suffering - even if the condition of suffering is for the rest of one's life - say yes to it. As Christ accepted his crucifixion and his cross, embrace one's own cross in an act of surrender. From this surrender the suffering will be transmuted to liberation. The path of release requires courage. In the path of releasing, one needs to release the desire in the "desire gap." It may also be described as surrendering, surrendering in the sense of letting go, of the one prime desire inherent in the "desire gap."

In the path of release, by giving up what you desire most of all there is not only a shift of one's sense of self, but a major falling away of one's identity. This crumbling of identity also occurs with the path of acceptance. If you accept what you once deemed unacceptable then this impacts upon one's sense of self. However, this is not to be feared. In the falling  away of one's perceived identity is the realization that the identity was not real to begin with. It was self-created over time, supported by family, friends, peers and society in general. The imaginary construct of self was held in place by a myriad opinions, judgments, and thoughts - all of them insubstantial. This false identity is sometimes called the ego or the small self. Upon this realization we suddenly experience an overwhelming sense of freedom and joy. We have peeled away layers of illusion to recognize something in us that is more real. This is an awakening to one's true nature or one's true Self. It may be a small and gentle glimpse or an overwhelming experience - again it does not matter. It is the end of your world as you know it and it is the beginning of your journey, the journey of transformation.

"There is a place within, even in deep sadness, where you are totally whole and complete." 
~ Rumi

paintings by Kahlil Gibran

My special thanks to Joseph for writing this post at my request.

Like the Sun and the Moon

"One ought not to know", he said, "but one ought to be".
I was pondering about this for a while. Suddenly a certainty rose inside me: 'If one can be, then it cannot be overlooked that we will discover that at some stage."
"That is true", he said, 'but this is a different kind of knowing than the knowing that you are so fond of lately. There is a lot of knowing that one can obtain independently of the fact of how one simply is - that is... if the brains are working okay! That kind of knowing can be crammed together in the container of the brains and give us plenty of useful information and pleasure. But there is also a kind of knowing that comes into existence because our 'being' permeates into our consciousness. In this kind of knowing lies a great clarity, which is of a different nature to the intellect. This clarity does not resolve intellectual riddles, nor will the clarity of intellect ever have an answer to the unsayable and the inescapable - what the people mean by the 'eternal questions'. There is no struggle between these two clarities. They are like the sun and the moon. Yes, that's how it is, for even if the moon is at her brightest, she would dim if the sun were not there. No, there never can be a conflict between the clarity of thought and the inner clarity that follows from Being."
"Inner clarity", I said, "sometimes I think that I knew it once - long ago."

Drawn from: Olsen's Foolishness, by Johannes Anker Larsen (1874-1957), Danish author and mystic.

Sophia - the Breath of Life

To approach Sophia is to approach that vital spark of the divine within ourselves, for Sophia is the essential spirit which infuses all things. She is the spark - the very life-force - without whom matter would remain inanimate. Her presence has been shrouded from view for some two millennia, hidden beneath an obscuring layer of doctrine, and treated as heresy. Her light endures, however, in texts, in symbols and secret teachings, and in our own most inner being. But who is Sophia?

The first condition of God permeates the cosmos. This first condition is unknowable, unfathomable, and unable to be experienced directly within human experience. This ultimate form of God is, as it were, removed from our vision for our own safety, for any direct perception or experience of God in this primal form would mean obliteration. The first manifestation of this ultimately unknowable God is the female manifestation, Sophia ('Wisdom'). Sophia is the spirit of grace which we feel when we allow ourselves to become open to it. All grace, all compassion which is beyond simple human compassion, emanates from Sophia. The third emanation, which is therefore twice removed from the original godhead, is the male creator God - 'God the father' - also known as the Demiurge. This is the God whom Christians think of as being the ultimate God, the male God who created the heavens and the earth. But the demiurge in his masculine ignorance forgets that he himself is an emanation from Sophia, and therefore imagines that his creative powers are his own, whereas these creative powers are derived from Sophia.

Before the manifested worlds came into existence, there was this source of oneness from which worlds of light, spirit and soul streamed. Humanity carries a primal image of these worlds of spirit and soul within itself. But Sophia is the primal force that, in union with the source, permeates - as female and life-giving principle - these unseen worlds. At the same time, she is the mother of the manifested world, the manifested cosmos.

Studying ancient books will not bring Sophia back into our consciousness and into our life. We have to search for her in our own inner self. Sophia reveals the knowledge of the heart, the primal knowledge which tells us that we own all the knowledge there is to know within the province of our own heart. Our heart of hearts knows that sacredness is not only outside of us, but also lives within us. But first we have to learn "inner silence".

The return of Sophia as the feminine aspect of creation is vital. Awareness needs to be raised of the importance of a male/female balance in every aspect of life, for if there really is a path towards peace both within ourselves and in our world, then the first step along that path is the realization of this Divine Oneness.

"The divine Sophia have I loved and sought from my youth,
I have desired her to be my spouse.
Ever have I loved her beauteous and radiant form.
Ever have I prayed that she might be sent to abide with me,
that she might work with me to the end
that I might know what I lacked
and what in me God would find acceptable.
And since she had ever known and understood,
had guided me in all my life's activity,
I am persuaded that even after death she
will ever keep me safe,
wrapped securely in her watchful, constant love."

- Giordano Bruno


image © David Bergen Studio